I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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