i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
