State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
