So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i was born a porn star she said
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
