Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
