I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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