Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
