The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You took a bar mat shot.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
