His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Randomize