i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
