So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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