I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
