thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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