Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
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I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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