I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She told me I should be a condom model.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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