wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize