You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
