Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
