Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We had to coat check the pizza.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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