I bet he comes in French.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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