dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Randomize
