Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
