GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
