He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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