the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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