I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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