thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize