I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
