let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
