Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
