i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
