hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
