Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
