My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
