So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
