I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
