I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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