is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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