Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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