So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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