you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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