proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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