it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
