I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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