He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
