You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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