I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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