When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
