I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
