you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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