the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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