your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
