i permit you to call me
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
