what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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