oh god the rape fog is back!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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